Panic attacks and driving

I suffer from panic attacks. No joke. I live in a small town and only drive around in my town. But when I have to go to the dentist (8 miles away) or out to the high school (5 miles away), I start to freeze up. Even thinking about it worries me. I chew my nails and hope and pray that I can make it to my destination. My "h" takes me everywhere out of town. It truly is a handicap to have these feelings of being afraid.

Many years ago when I was single I could drive ANYWHERE without any fear. I would drive out to see friends in 100 miles away and into Oklahoma. Never had a fear of driving. It was easy.

But now for some unknown reason, I just can't get in the car and drive down the highway without feeling like gripping the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white and my hands are sweaty. I drive so slow on the highway. I worry about people who get behind me and want to pass me. I can drive on dirt backroads without too much problem. There is no one out there and so I mostly drive on backroads. Then of course I worry if it will rain and my car will get stuck or slide all over the place.

I even used to have panic attacks while on vacation. I felt like I was going to get sick. But in the last few years I have been able to get over the panic thoughts of riding in a car. I have many tricks to help me not "go crazy," while riding in the car.

Now I find out next week that I must go out to the high school as the bee was cancelled this week to next week. My "h" will be out of town and so I will have to drive out there. I pray that it won't snow or rain before that time, as I will be taking my backroads.

I wish I could drive like I could when I was younger. I wish that I never had panic attacks!