Bold moves vs. shyness

Sometimes for unknown reasons, a feeling of shyness overcomes me. I always tell people that I am shy and they laugh saying, "You? Oh sure."

But often times I do suffer from shyness. When growing up, I barely answered questions in class, even though I knew the answers. I was shy. I can remember taking a journalism class in junior college. My assignment was ask the registrar about how many people we had attending class at that particular time. That was it. A seemingly easy task. I remember distinctly that I was sweating and walking into the office. I just couldn't do it. So I quit taking Journalism right then and there.

Other times I was bold. I could ask this one basketball player for an interview on the radio and he actually said yes. He was a nice guy. I was bold but yet, after listening to the tape that I did with him, I sounded so shaky.

After junior college, I made a bold move to attend Sterling College, a Christian college. It was bold for me, because I knew "no one" on campus. My friends from HS didn't go to a private Christian college, I knew no one! But yet, I had friends that broke me out of my silent mode. Sometimes, I did feel like I was their shadow and stood behind them. I watched and learned how not be shy.

After moving to Wichita, yet another bold move, I knew no one who lived there. But there again I had made friends who were out going individuals and I picked up some of their traits.

I think that sometimes I have bouts of shyness because I don't like confrontation. Or I have my own ideas about certain jobs that I've been given a chance to change things. Then I get calls from people who used to hold those jobs and wonder if I am doing what they did. I don't want to say to them, "Hey, thank you but this is my job now. I'm doing the job according to how I think it should be done." (Which I haven't had time to do much, with other responsibilities.). I guess what I need to do with this particular job (or duty, in this case) is make a bold move and make some changes.

I just need a booster shot of confidence that my ideas are good and not to worry what others think. Then maybe I can get past my shyness, maybe.