Coaching your son (or daughter)

Both of my kids have played sports through the recreation commision in my town. We have really great coaches who encourage them to be better players and we have had coaches that just play their favorites.

I often comment to L that I wish that he could or would coach J in basketball. L once played junior high sports but that's as far as he went as an athlete.

In the case of Little League Baseball/Softball, our girl S, was mostly a bench sitter. Sure she wanted to play but for the most part the coaches put in their girls. The last year that S played the coach put younger players in the game who had at least 3 more years to be in that league. Instead S sat on the bench. She came to every practice that was ever held and played her best, which wasn't as good as the young players. On her last team the coach played his daughter every game, not one time did she sit on the bench! It wasn't fair. They should have played the bench sitters a little more so they could develop their skill. S had one more year left with the team and we all decided it would be best not to go out for the team if that's how things were. It was politics.

J's career in baseball ended quicker than S's career. J was playing t-ball with his same age peers and the coach from the boys team wanted to move him up. It turned out that that wasn't such a great move. Then when he wanted to play fast pitch baseball, instead of t-ball, the league said that he couldn't. He missed the cut off date by 3 days. A rule is a rule, is what they told us. If he would have stayed in t-ball he would have been with kids really younger than him. We wanted no part of it thereafter.

In basketball, the league is more fair. It is played by grade rather than age. So J has gone out for basketball all three years. He enjoys the friendships on the team. Granted most times he isn't a starter. Those spots are reserved for coach's sons. I always wished that L or I could coach him in basketball. But in a way it's okay that we don't.

Four of our boys have dad's who have been or are want-to-be coaches. The new head coach of our team, doesn't yell at his son as much as the other three. Our new coach, so far plays everyone in about every quarter. I'll see how this works out in the next few games, this was how it was at the coach's first game. Our former head coach, yells at his kid, I just think that is his nature. But I can see on this kid's face how much he wants to please his dad. The other son, the assistant coach's kid, is shouted at too, but not too severly. The want-to-be coach ALWAYS yells at his kid and just really gets down at him for not making a play.

It is then I realize that this is probably a good deal that we don't coach our son. We let him play and have fun. The ones who get yelled at play hard and sometimes I've seen them near tears. Is that how to develop tough basketball players? In my opinion, it's good to have a coach who is not your dad, if they yell at you, you don't have to see them at home, etc.

Nothing like sports and dad's. The dad's of the players are living their dreams through their kids. Just let them play the sport and quit yelling at them.